when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
