I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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