well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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