I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
