i wish starbucks made bloody marys
zippers are such a cool invention
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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