I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
