My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
