i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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