I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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