you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
