She is in my trunk
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
