You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
