Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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