Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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