i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
