Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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