and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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