No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
