Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
