you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
