He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
