well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
