Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Houston, we have a squirter
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
