I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
