Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
