dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
