if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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