and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
