Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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