The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Im part way to drunk.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
