i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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