After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
