I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
