She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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