i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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