Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i came on her dog
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
