He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
