Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
