Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
