Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
