I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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