So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
