You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
