do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
