walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
