Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
