I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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