today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I smell like Dick and happiness
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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