You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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