Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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