I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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